January
[Flash 10 is required to watch video]
i still cannot understand people’s desire to drink to ‘obliteration’ and be unable to remember a thing. you embarrass yourself. also, the whole ‘i need a bit of alcohol in me so that i can loosen up and be social’ - stop lying to yourself. try harder instead of taking the easy way out.
you feel lonely, even when surrounded by those who care for you. there’s that one person that could make it all right again. but they’ve gone. and there’s someone new. but it’s not the same.
worst week
on the tiniest plus side, i’ve gotten a lot of reading done
but i hate wanting to put in effort when i can’t tell whether they will appreciate it or even want it
mission aborted
[Flash 10 is required to watch video]
July 10. 17.365
after a huge night (not at all good), going to bed at 5 am, i was up early to get ready to go into the city to meet up with my cousin and his boyfriend. they always ask me over and i always have a great time going out with them.
easy train ride in (i usually fear traveling on public transport alone - i always feel i’ll lose something or it’ll be stolen, or i feel dirty - but that’s a snobby attitude i must get rid of because there’s really nothing wrong with trains) and i was soon sitting on their couch and drinking a skyy blue (? i’ve never had one before, but it was nice). within the hour we were off to the beresford.
heard rumours gaga would be there and i got overly excited, then to find out she wouldn’t be there. lost hope is better than no hope at all.
overall a great night, with some awkwardness thrown in. i’ve never been spoken to by a stranger when out, and so when one did all i could say was ‘what?’ because i honestly didn’t understand why he wanted to meet me. but it was a good chat :)
left early after plans for arq were cancelled and then just chilled back at the apartment with family guy on. times spent with my cousin and his boyfriend are extremely enjoyable. they have yet to disappoint me.
July 9. 16.365
daytime today was pretty uneventful. didn’t find anything good at the shops.
at 5 i went out to castle hill to do some more shooting for j, this time the car scene. people who don’t wear contacts can’t understand, but pairing contacts and glasses together seems to reverse the effect. i had to drive an unknown car semi-blind - without being allowed to indicate, with the boot open, with the lights off, in the middle of a suburban road - until he got the shot. so many illegal things! but he finally got the shot and i rushed off to rouse hill to catch the bus in to go to starfuckers. freezing night that started off fine but went downhill pretty quickly. never before have I wanted to cry at a club but everything that happened almost overwhelmed me. just a lot of arguing and seeming spite happened around me and we ended up leaving early, all upset at eachother. i patched it all up with one of them after we got home, staying out till 5am just so we could talk everything through. it’s all fixed now, but the night itself was not fun. i just hope that everything works out for them with the other friend.
ps. never have a big mac at 3am. ergghhhh
July 8. 15.365
literally woke up at 2pm today. a waste of a day that turned into a waste of a night, ended watching ‘killers’. finally going to the city tomorrow night, but must get through another day!
on the bright side, i started a new book :) it hasn’t been since about year 10 that i have read vociferously. i read multiple books per week, but since then it’s been maybe one a month. ridiculous. i should be using this gap year and it’s non-existent time demands to read as much as possible (also to research uni unit options and majors!)
July 7. 14.365
went out to fagan park today with a friend just for a warm relaxing day. lots of driving around but i didn’t mind. all i can say though is that some parents have done a bad job in raising their kids! there are some filthy children out there who are remarkably disrespectful. i wanted to just go up and yell at them for being so rude to us, shouting out.
but after dropping the friend off at work, and stealing his bracelet, i chilled at home till i got ready for going out tonight. it’s my good friend e’s birthday tomorrow and so we’re going out tonight to celebrate. i pick up lou and hurry over, party till it’s her birthday, say goodbye and leave. for once, they played telephone and we r who we r at this club! good music ;)
as we were out, i checked facebook to see that j had posted a video of the outtakes from the screenshoot last week, where we were acting as various stereotyped characters. this is what my post is tonight.
